As adults grow older, friendships change, whether as a result of circumstances, proximity, or loss. This may be especially true for older adults who move to nursing homes, assisted living, or other senior-focused communities. However, no one is ever too old to make new friends—and this includes friends who live across the country. 

That’s the basic premise for a video pen-pal program between a small group of older adults in New Jersey and another group near Chicago.  The idea was spearheaded by Aryeh Markowitz, administrator at LeadingAge member Jewish Home Family at Rockleigh (pictured, at right) and Anna-Liisa LaCroix, CEO at Central Baptist Village in Norridge, IL when the pair met in 2023 as Leadership Academy fellows. 

“We always gravitated towards each other on the topic of finding things that provide our elders with purpose and relevance on a daily basis,” said Markowitz. As part of his own Leadership Academy Action Learning Project (ALP), Markowitz found himself musing on the idea of home and how for many older adults, leaving their homes brings a fear of losing their identities and their purpose in daily life. What could help enhance that sense of purpose?

At the very end of their Leadership Academy experience, Markowitz and LaCroix started thinking about new ways to reflect on purpose for members of their communities, and how connection is key. As mentioned, the notion of connection can change for long-term care residents. “We see it all the time. You’re sort of limited to the people you’re living with, maybe your family or friends visit once in a while,” said Markowitz. “We started thinking about how cool it would be if we could expand the communication and friendships our elders have beyond the walls of our organizations and introduce them to people across the country who are going through the same things they are going through.” 

From there, the pen pal program was born. A group of about seven residents from Jewish Home Family met with Markowitz, who filmed each of them on an iPhone introducing themselves. They talked on topics including how long they’d been living in the residence, about their children and about the careers they had. The video was sent to LaCroix, and residents at Central Baptist Village responded with the same introductions. 

Depending on the coordinators’ schedules, the video exchanges, which are typically edited down to about 15 minutes, can happen within a week or within a month and group members in both locations are always eager for the next installments. The same two groups participate in order to build that sense of friendship.  Jewish Home Family now has different members in its second group, and Central Baptist Village has members from the original group as well as new participants. 

Markowitz would be happy to see the program expand across the country, with other residences pairing up and forming their own pen-pal cohorts. “It’s a program that’s not complicated and which could expand in a really cool way—I could see these webs of communication that allow elders everywhere, going through the same experience of long-term care, to connect with people from all over.” 

Markowitz welcomes providers to reach out to him for information about how to start their own pen-pal program. “I’d be happy to give people an idea of what the program entails,” he said. “I’m open to playing ‘match maker’ to pair residences together, too.” Aryeh Markowitz can be reached at amarkowitz@jewishfamilyhome.org.

Join Changemakers in Philadelphia this October

Being a Changemaker sometimes starts with a simple question: What if we tried this? Aryeh’s idea shows how one connection can spark many more. As you think about the changemakers in your own organization and across the aging services field, invite them to join you October 25–28 in Philadelphia for the 2026 LeadingAge Annual Meeting, where thousands of changemakers will come together to share ideas and build partnerships. Registration is open now.